Branson, Missouri Offers Fun & Frivolity in a Pastoral Setting

[Victor Block]

As our car crested the last hill overlooking the town ahead, I rubbed my eyes to make sure they weren’t deceiving me. The first thing I spotted was a giant King Kong clambering menacingly up a building.

Another roof was topped by a helicopter which appeared to have just landed or was about to take off. Among other hard-to believe visions that came into view were a huge chicken, an equally oversize fork piercing a large meatball and a half-size replica of the Titanic nestled against the iceberg that it had struck.

 

Welcome to the town of Branson, set in the rolling Ozark Mountains of southwest Missouri some four hours from St. Louis. In contrast with the rather pastoral area that surrounds it, Branson is an island of fun and frivolity, exciting thrill rides, and a long and varied list of entertainment options – along with a choice of more educational and even highbrow alternatives.

They combine to create a destination that is somewhat, shall I say, different. Here’s a place where kitsch becomes catchy, the offbeat seems normal, and visitors at times may find themselves abandoning what is real for the surreal.

Consider this fact: Bigfoot is alive and well in Branson. More about that later.

 

Thrills, Toys & Kitsch

 

Among other claims to fame, Branson hosts the world’s largest toy museum; the fastest, tallest and steepest-spinning roller coaster; and the biggest rooster weather vane (a boast which made me wonder how many other oversize rooster vanes there are).

My wife Fyllis and I went to Branson with some trepidation. From what we had heard, it’s the kind of place that, to be blunt, we often find unappealing in many ways. Several days later, though, we left loving it!

Let me add that we became enamored with the town for what it is. Some of what goes on here may be corny and cliched, but it’s certainly done very well.

In addition, there’s plenty to see and do that’s downright educational and exhilarating in a more serious way. But first, let’s have some fun.

If you’re a thrill-ride aficionado, Branson may well be the place for you.  Just a few examples from a lengthy list of heart-racing alternatives include a windmill-shaped ride that propels passengers at speeds up to 60 miles an hour; the second fastest wooden roller coaster in the world; and a four-story go-kart track that hurls passengers on a twisting, turning, and spiraling ride.  

For those not enthralled by such stomach-churning experiences, there also are plenty of choices available for life in the slow lane.

 

From Museums to Marilyn Monroe, Branson, Missouri Has it All

 

A wax museum provides introductions to famous music and movie stars. A collection of auto and farm equipment includes more than 200 “cool cars” and almost as many tractors and steam engines. Passengers on the Branson Scenic Railway experience the luxury travel of times past during a 40-mile ride through the Ozark foothills.

Then there’s the lengthy list of live-entertainment options, ranging from country and rock music to comedy and acrobatic performances. 

 

Legends in Concert includes tributes to the likes of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, and the Blues Brothers. Dolly Parton’s Stampede offers a four-course meal along with exhibitions by trained dogs, racing pigs, horses, and human entertainers in a rodeo-like setting.

 

Branson Rose from Fishing to Fast Rides

 

In contrast with the thrill rides and frenzied activity that greet visitors to Branson today, it’s somewhat ironic that the area initially became known as a favorite destination for fishermen seeking a quiet outing. Even now, its rivers and warm-water Table Rock Lake continue to serve as magnets for anglers in search of largemouth bass and other freshwater fighters.

The primary draw for many folks today is Silver Dollar City, and that multifaceted fun park alone would be well worth a visit. Its history traces back to the 1890s, when a system of underground caverns named Marvel Cave was opened to the public.

As crowds began to gather, rides and other attractions were built to give guests something to do while they waited for a cave tour. It wasn’t long before more people began coming for the recreation than the cave, and that set the stage for the megapark which greets visitors today.

 

History Is Alive at Silver Dollar City

 

The setting recreates the atmosphere of the Ozarks in the late 19th century. That theme is carried out in a number of ways. 

For starters, almost everything that is made, used and even eaten in Silver Dollar City is made by some 100 resident craftspeople who keep alive an American heritage of artisanry. While demonstrating their skills, leather crafters, candle makers, glass blowers and other artisans create items that are sold in shops and also used throughout the park. 

Even the food becomes part of experiencing the lore of the Ozarks. Veggie-filled succotash is cooked in a six-foot skillet that was made by the blacksmith, using the family recipe of a park employee. A stop at Eva and Delilah’s Bakery becomes a step back in time with demonstrations of making taffy and other treats, followed by mouth-watering tastings.

 

At Sullivan’s Mill, an old-fashioned waterwheel powers a stone wheel that grinds yellow and white corn meal which is used to bake sourdough, cinnamon and seven-grain Indian bread. 

In addition to the usual theme park rides and entertainment, there are some that carry out the Ozarkian theme. For example, the Giant Barn Swing is based upon ropes that were attached to the rafters of barns long ago to provide a basic but enjoyable experience. The wooden roller coaster is a throwback to the thrill rides of decades past.

                                                                                 

Signs of Bigfoot

 

Earlier I promised you an introduction to Bigfoot and I can report that our Bigfoot Exploratory Expedition - conducted in a safari-style open truck - to search for this large, hairy beast of legend achieved some success. Fyllis and I spotted oversize muddy footprints, heard ear-shattering screams and were subjected to musty beast-like smells.  However, a vow of silence imposed upon Bigfoot hunters keeps me from divulging more. (And by the way, the big guy is such a big deal hereabouts that he's the theme of an rides-packed spread called the Bigfoot Fun Park.)

On the other hand, little else about Branson is a secret. You’re almost certain to find a number of things to your liking. Even when it comes to appeals and attractions that you think may have little interest, you may end up agreeing that at least Branson does them well.

 

For more information, call [phone] or log onto ExploreBranson.com.