The Royal Wedding: London Visitors' Trivia

[Jill Starley-Grainger]

Second in a series of four.

 

Although I rarely dine with the Queen, I know all the daily movements of the royals, courtesy of the incessant, IQ-lowering Royal Wedding news reports about everything from the height of Kate’s wedding-day heels to the exact measurement of William’s receding hairline.

 

Since you may not have arrived in London yet, here’s a summary of need-to-know pre-nuptial news:

 

1. You can place a bet on the likelihood of best man and rarely reliable brother Prince Harry forgetting the ring. According to the BBC, current odds are 38 to 1.

 

2. The Telegraph reports that Posh Spice, aka Victoria Beckham, might be designing Kate’s honeymoon dresses.

 

3. The toe-the-royal-line "proper" paper Telegraph also reports that the Bachelor Party is over. Apparently, it was all too secret and nobody knew about it. Except readers of the hugely (indeed, tragically) popular tabloid, The Sun, which ran a story on March 28 called “Stag Fun for Wills at Secret Mansion.”

 

4. His Royal Highness’s Royal Air Force colleagues are enjoying taking the mick (no direct UK-to-US phrase translation, but “teasing” comes close) by serving Prince William cups of tea in a Official Royal Wedding Commemorative Mug.

 

5. At the wedding reception – officially called a "wedding breakfast" in the UK, despite the fact that it almost never takes place in the morning – a chocolate-cookie cake will be served to guests, as the recipe is a childhood favourite of Prince William's. To put this into context, the company making it is the US equivalent of Nabisco. Not Very Regal. [Editor's note: For an alternative Royal Wedding Cake, contemplate this edible edifice.]

 

6. Celebrities on the guest list include David and Victoria Beckham, Guy Ritchie (left), and comedian Rowan Atkinson, according to the Telegraph. Other invitees include Basil Charles of Basil's Bar on Mustique, the ambassador from North Korea, various exes, and Kate's Uncle Gary, “who was caught on film allegedly dealing drugs.”

 

A London-based American journalist whose work has been published by the likes of Condé Nast Traveller and The Sunday Times, Jill Starley-Grainger loves eco-luxury travel, cutting-edge tech, free hotel WiFi – and her adopted city. Her previous Tripatini post explained why tourists may just outnumber Londoners on the Big Day; do stay tuned for parts 3 and 4!